GoodCrush has been fortunate to nab an exclusive interview with Stephen Pollard, who has taken the time out of his busy lady-killing schedule to answer a few questions for us.
Who are you?
My name is Stephen Pollard but many people call me spollard, peter, or spollardarity.
Why are you such a stud?
There are too many reasons to list here but I’d say the biggest reason is my muscles. What can I say? Chicks dig rock-solid abs and massive shoulders. The bulging biceps round out the studly image.
What is your favorite physical feature? (about yourself)
I’ve heard an awful lot about my hair recently and I have finally given in that this is my favorite feature. I used to think that my muscles were my favorite feature but now I’ve realized that the muscles only make up half the man. The angsty hair is the final and most important piece.
What percentage of missed connections at Princeton, would you say, are about you?
I’ve heard estimates as high at 90.3 % but the numbers seem rather skewed. I’d say 99.4% is more accurate.
What are your thoughts about Alexander Hwang, who has recently surpassed you as the #1 most-crushed?
He is the reigning crushmaster and I owe him my allegiance. His suave yet powerful presence has swept many women off their feet. Few have ever recovered. He received more than 4 times the crushes I received and he is at least 4 times the man. I can only hope to learn the mysterious ways of my crushmaster so that one day I might be half the man he is today.
Any words of wisdom you can share for guys out there looking to become as studly as you are?
Fellow men, Watch and Learn. Alex Hwang is The Man on campus so whenever he is with you, pay attention. Perhaps a little of his manliness will rub off. I have studied under him for a year and a half now and I know that I am crushable only because of Alex Hwang. He is my inspiration and without him I would be utterly uncrushable.
